The Weakest Link(edIn)
December 13th, 2009I can no longer deny what has become obvious to me. I have failed to use LinkedIn appropriately for too long, and it’s starting to make me rethink my approach. Maybe you can learn from my mistake!
LinkedIn suggests: Accept invitations only from those who you know and trust.
This past week, I finally realized how low I’ve let my requirements drop. I have long accepted connections from mere acquaintances. However, this time I accepted an invitation to connect from a former co-worker who I know for a fact is NOT a good worker. He was a nice guy, but we worked on a project together, and he exhibited some of my least favorite qualities. He complained when asked to do work. He would kiss up to the project leader, and then disregard her when she was gone. He consistently did the bare minimum that was required, or even less. This person was an awful teammate. I kept hoping he would drop out of the project, but he never did. Is this someone you want working for you? Me neither. Would I ever consider recommending this person, or offering to connect them to another contact? No. So why did I accept his request?
It’s an easy answer actually. I was laid off a year ago. Like most people in that situation, I started networking like crazy. I met a lot of people, and many of them elected to connect with me via LinkedIn despite our lack of real connection. I should note that I rarely reached out myself unless we had broached the topic of connecting during our own conversation. Here I am, one year later, with 176 connections, and 3 invitations in my inbox. How many of these are quality connections?
My connections:
| Category | # | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Work – Good | 61 | These are people who I can legitimately recommend based on their work. |
| Work – Casual | 40 | We worked in the same company, but I can’t really tell you much about the quality of their work. To varying degrees, I can likely tell you if they are a nice person. |
| Networking | 49 | People I met at networking groups, or professional groups (Java User Groups, Agile Bazaar) |
| Family and Friends | 13 | I know these people well enough to tell you they are good people, and I might be able to judge how they might be at work. |
| Old School | 8 | People I went to school with, and may not have seen in 15-20 years. I can’t say too much about these folks, but I can vouch that they were good people then. |
| LION | 4 | These are those annoying but necessary people who with Link with anyone. They can possibly be useful since most are recruiters. We are mutually predatory, so it’s ok. |
| Work – Bad | 1 | The inspiration for this post. People I can verify are BAD to work with. |
The good news: My largest segment is the “Work – Good” category. Bad news, it’s only about 32% of my overall network. I think I can add some of my friends and family section, but still low. Yikes.
Although LinkedIn doesn’t offer one, I think I’ll start using the following rating system for my contacts:
| 5 stars: | You can ask me for a LinkedIn recommendation, and I will connect you with my other contacts. |
| 4 stars: | I can connect you with my contacts, but it’s been a while since we actually worked together, so I can’t write a recommendation. (I can recommend you generally, not specifically) |
| 3 stars: | I can likely connect you with my contacts, but only for information, not for information interviewing. |
| 2 stars: | I can provide you with information about a company I have worked for, but will not share contacts with you. |
| 1 star: | I can’t remember what you look like, and will likely deflect requests in a manner to suggest I can’t help. |
Next step: I am going to do the right thing, and drop the Weakest link. In fact, I’ll do it before I post this! How about everyone else? I think I will leave them for now. However, I will look at future connections with a more discerning eye. If we are already linked via a Group, we do not need to be connected directly. If you are a recruiter, I may connect since you are unlikely to ask me for a connection anyway, and may be able to help me out some day. If I met you once, and we started building a relationship, well maybe LinkedIn will help us get to the next level. I’m quite torn, as it’s hard to flat out reject connections, because this is an accepted way to network.
What are the alternatives? Well, I will relay one experience. I met a guy named Larry at a networking meeting last summer. We had a great conversation, and I wanted to continue the conversation. As he had no business card, I looked him up in LinkedIn and invited him to connect. He wrote a great message back explaining why he was not comfortable with that, based on LinkedIn’s own standards, and that started a great dialogue. We have continued that dialogue since then, and I can honestly say I know a lot more about him than about many of my contacts. I still don’t know if he is great at his job, but I know he’s one smart dude. My point here is that there are other ways to connect if one chooses to truly build a relationship, versus just adding another notch to your LinkedIn bedpost. Hmmm, that got weird.
Although I do enjoy the email correspondence, it seems much more personal than LinkedIn messaging. Email is in my personal space, whereas LinkedIn offers that extra layer of separation that many people appreciate, myself included. Even more personal would be talking on the phone, which I honestly hate, and would consider a total intrusion.
In the end, it should be about Quality, but it’s so much easier to expand your network by Quantity instead. It takes patience over time to truly build a strong network. I recently started a new job. I hope, in about 12 months, I will have proved my value and will be able to connect with many of my co-workers. Because I work remotely with only one other person right now, that might only turn into a few connections. However, they will be quality, the types that can be of value, so they will be worth the wait!
Some might say, “Hey, are you sure you want to put this out where your LinkedIn connections can see it?” I say yes, because only my good connections will make the extra effort to support me by reading my blog posts. Those weaker connections aren’t likely to see this at all.
I invite you all to analyze your own results and post them in the comments below, I’d love to see them and hear how you do your analysis. Of course, I can’t help but wonder if my connection count will fall after this post!
Now, what to do with those three invites in my inbox?
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I think this article is above my pay grade!
Funny story (okay, I guess the reader should be the judge of that, so I should say instead, true story): I’m a linked in nonuser. I belong, people invite me to join their network, and I usually say yes by the third reminder. I’m wasting their time and mine, b/c I really don’t recommend people or seek recommendations. But one of my connections is to a person who I happen to know has since been indicted for fraud. Yes, indicted. That’s bad. Each week, however, I get an update from this person informing me that they have joined another group, and asking me to make a recommendatin. Each week, after I close the email w/o responding, I wonder if the next message will say “X has joined the Madoff work gang. If you’d like to recommend X, please write.” I also realize each time someone looks at my “connections,” they see X, and I wonder if they wonder if I know about the indictments. Okay, maybe not so funny. Lesson? Maybe there isn’t one. But be careful who you link, and if you want to make the system work, I think Rory’s advice is good – remove the weakest link. Then think about whether Linked In is really the best networking anyway. Most people I’d recommend, I have connetions to offline.
@ Brian
Funny, and scary too! Both required elements to a good story. Yeah, I vote dump that person.
Great point about whether LinkedIn is the best tool for you. I started this post thinking about how one should use it for their true “good” contacts, but I admit that it may be just as good for your “average” contacts too. Again, I prefer this to email. Plus, I respond to email right away, whereas I can ignore LinkedIn messages for days under the excuse that I haven’t logged in.
Last advice on this: If you are going to bother using the tools of social media, you need to make sure you are using them right. Complete your profile as much as possible (although 3 recommendations, as LinkedIn suggests, are probably not needed, that’s a whole other post), and keep up things up to date. Think about the people you connect with. As you point out, people are looking at your profile and your connections and making judgments about, well, your judgment. You may not use it, but just by being present you are giving the impression that you are fully aware of what you are advertising out there.
Rory, great to see your blog! Love it and would read it going forward.
What to do with your buyer’s remorse: ‘I accepted an invitation to connect from a former co-worker who I know for a fact is NOT a good worker’?
If it’s a likeability factor, that you just don’t like the chap, then your accepting him when you did shows your own vulnerability at a time when you were suffering from job loss and was desperate for leads. So now, gainfully employed, dump your connection if that elevates your own self-esteem.
What I would like to add to the mix is for you to consider your new role as a blogger and how this may encourage you to see your connections in a new light. This person already in your 1st degree connection is someone who will get your blogpost as soon you update your status with it. Does that angle interest you at all?
Decide your bandwith!
Do you want to go exclusive, and limit your message to a selected few? Or do you want, using the Spanish expression, todos mundos (the whole world), to hear what you have to say? Do you want your message to reverberate around the globe? Then, you can’t stand to lose this connection despite the likeability factor!
Fehmida
Great feedback Fehmida! Yes, it really does come down to deciding how you want to use LinkedIn. It is not a “One size fits all” tool, as we all know.
FYI, I did drop my connection last night. Although it stops me from gaining from that connection, it also stops him from gaining from me, and in this case, I believe it is the right move.
My advice to those employed is to start using LinkedIn effectively while gainfully employed, so you do not cave to the pressures of connection abuse if you find yourself unemployed. I always tell people, the contacts I made this year are not to help with my next job, but for the job after that!
HI Rory,
I guess I am considered a good connection since I read this blog post. I think that you made very excellent points and expressed it very creatively. I’m glad that you are sharing your knowledge with others. You are already rich when it comes to this new economy of information sharing.
Definitely Pedro, we’ve built a relationship along the way, which is key to a solid connection!
Hi Rory,
Great insight into the social and business protocol involved with LinkedIn. Your thoughts are good to hear since it is what we are all feeling but putting in writing makes you nod your head in agreement.
Thanks Seth, I appreciate the feedback! This is a great way to keep the dialogue moving forward!
Nice post.I guess I am considered a good connection since I read this blog post
.
@Sony: You are a good connection because I KNOW that you do good work! (but thanks for reading!)
Phew! So glad I got this notification
You are brave to be so candid. I struggle with the same on Facebook. We were all brought up to play nice. Turning down a request to be your friend or join your network isn’t good playground manners. Maybe not though if you consider the other person’s motives- if they haven’t truly connected with you some other way, they probably just want something from you, or they’re those stalkers that just want to know what you’re up to because they’re nosy.
@jenn Facebook is definitely a whole other ball of wax! I have always kept very private on FB, but have taken that a step further with some contacts who I do not wish to share my whole life with. I have only rejected a few people out there, all professional contacts, as I have decided not to use FB for business at this time. It is true though, we don’t want to turn people down, we’re too polite! If only LinkedIn allowed you to limit exposure on a Connection-by-Connection basis!
Thanks all for the great discussion! (My connection count has not dropped yet, so I guess no one decided I was worth jettisoning yet!)
I’m clearly behind in my blog reading. Imagine my surprise when I read this and found that I’m famous!
You asked for people to analyze their LinkedIn connections, so here goes:
Work-Good 71
Work-Casual 13
Networking 1
Family&Friends 1
Old School 10
LION 0
Work-Bad 1
Lots of people belong in multiple categories — I placed them in the topmost one. I categorized Work-Good fairly liberally. I know lots of the Old School people well enough to recommend them.