Comments on: Post 1 of 2: Grade my Elevator Pitch http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/ Finding work you're passionate about Fri, 12 Feb 2010 02:39:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: WillWorkForFree » Blog Archive » Part 2 of 2: Grade my Elevator Pitch http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-61 WillWorkForFree » Blog Archive » Part 2 of 2: Grade my Elevator Pitch Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:23:51 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-61 [...] Finding work you're passionate about « Post 1 of 2: Grade my Elevator Pitch Part 2 of 2: Grade my Elevator Pitch June 26th, [...] [...] Finding work you're passionate about « Post 1 of 2: Grade my Elevator Pitch Part 2 of 2: Grade my Elevator Pitch June 26th, [...]

]]> By: carey ward http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-55 carey ward Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:41:42 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-55 think stiff as in mortuary. ;-) i too noted the stiffness and think maybe trimming your comments would help with that and the talking fast. if i didn't know you i might not have been able to take in much of what you had to say. otherwise, bold move captain. carey think stiff as in mortuary. ;-)

i too noted the stiffness and think maybe trimming your comments would help with that and the talking fast. if i didn’t know you i might not have been able to take in much of what you had to say.

otherwise, bold move captain.

carey

]]> By: Rory http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-53 Rory Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:51:41 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-53 Stiff isn't a good thing??? ;-) Agreed on all points. Stiff isn’t a good thing??? ;-)
Agreed on all points.

]]> By: Bob in Maine http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-52 Bob in Maine Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:45:26 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-52 Hi Rory; You look good, production values are good. I think you might come off a little stiff (sorry!) I think a little less information and a little more of your great personality would be better. Maybe talk a little more about what you want to do? I would also try to either move the copy more in line with the camera or try to memorize, you look a little distracted as you try to read the copy. Good luck! Hi Rory;

You look good, production values are good.

I think you might come off a little stiff (sorry!) I think a little less information and a little more of your great personality would be better.

Maybe talk a little more about what you want to do?

I would also try to either move the copy more in line with the camera or try to memorize, you look a little distracted as you try to read the copy.

Good luck!

]]> By: Rory http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-51 Rory Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:44:55 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-51 Thanks Lee, interesting comments. Interesting too when comparing a business commercial to a personal, as they really should be similar. Thanks Lee, interesting comments. Interesting too when comparing a business commercial to a personal, as they really should be similar.

]]> By: Rory http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-50 Rory Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:43:31 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-50 Thanks Kristyn, very helpful contributions! Thanks Kristyn, very helpful contributions!

]]> By: Rory http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-49 Rory Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:42:59 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-49 Brave or stupid...we'll see. Thanks for the comments! Brave or stupid…we’ll see. Thanks for the comments!

]]> By: Andy http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-48 Andy Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:27:39 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-48 Hi Rory. You're a braver man than I putting this out for public comment, but I like the concept!! My thoughts are about the branding of "process improvement specialist" and then going on to talk about SAS development. To me, as a process-oriented guy, this seems a disconnect between branding yourself as an accomplished development professional, and branding yourself as driving change in business process (in which development might be required). Mentioning 6 sigma seems the only passing reference to the latter type of process improvement. Maybe I'm not current on this, but did you apply six sigma in the development work? I would echo the comments about adding more of a "so what" statement. I like most of the content, and would look to trim it slightly and slow down a little. Good stuff overall, and again, you have my cudos and respect for your innovative approach!! Hi Rory. You’re a braver man than I putting this out for public comment, but I like the concept!!

My thoughts are about the branding of “process improvement specialist” and then going on to talk about SAS development. To me, as a process-oriented guy, this seems a disconnect between branding yourself as an accomplished development professional, and branding yourself as driving change in business process (in which development might be required). Mentioning 6 sigma seems the only passing reference to the latter type of process improvement. Maybe I’m not current on this, but did you apply six sigma in the development work?

I would echo the comments about adding more of a “so what” statement. I like most of the content, and would look to trim it slightly and slow down a little.

Good stuff overall, and again, you have my cudos and respect for your innovative approach!!

]]> By: Kristyn Silk http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-46 Kristyn Silk Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:33:20 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-46 Hi Rory, I think you are talking fast, but you have alot of relevant things to say, so with the given time, I guess you have to be quick. If you do it again, I would say to talk about evidence that you are a proven leader (i.e. saved money, increased profit...). I would say that viewers take you seriously and your appearance is good. You are direct in what you want, which is good. I like that you smiled at the end too, since you were talking quickly, it's impossible to smile while saying all that. So, overall, if you do hate it and do it again (I am not saying you should), include an accomplishment statement. Everyone has a hard time watching their own and liking them. I hate myself on all the news clips and the success landing story... think I look funny, talk too fast, read my notes too much etc... Don't be so tough on yourself, but feel free to change it, but can't remove from the actual show. And ask to see your longer one too. Kristyn Hi Rory, I think you are talking fast, but you have alot of relevant things to say, so with the given time, I guess you have to be quick. If you do it again, I would say to talk about evidence that you are a proven leader (i.e. saved money, increased profit…). I would say that viewers take you seriously and your appearance is good. You are direct in what you want, which is good. I like that you smiled at the end too, since you were talking quickly, it’s impossible to smile while saying all that.

So, overall, if you do hate it and do it again (I am not saying you should), include an accomplishment statement.

Everyone has a hard time watching their own and liking them. I hate myself on all the news clips and the success landing story… think I look funny, talk too fast, read my notes too much etc…

Don’t be so tough on yourself, but feel free to change it, but can’t remove from the actual show. And ask to see your longer one too.

Kristyn

]]> By: Lee T. Davy http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/2009/06/post-1-of-2-grade-my-elevator-pitch/comment-page-1/#comment-45 Lee T. Davy Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:11:48 +0000 http://www.rorycullen.com/blog/?p=142#comment-45 I am finding a lot now that I look for "30 second commercial resume" http://www.executivecareerinsights.com/my_weblog/2008/08/personal-brandi.html has a podcast about "BRANDING" and I would like to see "Hi , I'm Rory Cullen" as the theme of the commercial not "I am looking for a job!". The objective is to remember your name when they recognize your "value statement". I suggest a theme "I am Rory Cullen, and I provide JAVA solutions to business problems !" or what ever you feel is your tag line. Again listen to the audio. My resume says TV, TV , TV, TV in every job description. It offends the traditional cookie cutter resume writers. I find myself obstructed with fitting in. http://www.linkedin.com/in/leetdavy <- Pass it on !!! http://www.eventvideo.com Lee T Davy leetdavy@eventvideo.com I am finding a lot now that I look for “30 second commercial resume”
http://www.executivecareerinsights.com/my_weblog/2008/08/personal-brandi.html
has a podcast about “BRANDING” and I would like to see “Hi , I’m Rory Cullen” as the theme of the commercial not “I am looking for a job!”. The objective is to remember your name when they recognize your “value statement”.

I suggest a theme “I am Rory Cullen, and I provide JAVA solutions to business problems !” or what ever you feel is your tag line.
Again listen to the audio.
My resume says TV, TV , TV, TV in every job description. It offends the traditional cookie cutter resume writers.
I find myself obstructed with fitting in.

http://www.linkedin.com/in/leetdavy <- Pass it on !!!
http://www.eventvideo.com
Lee T Davy
leetdavy@eventvideo.com

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